Millions of ordinary people like me die daily. Similarly a man named Jim died in Fairfield on June 26, 2007 who was born on Jan. 7, 1947, in Lincoln, Neb., to Elton and Marie (Cooke) Wilkins. He joined the U.S. Navy during the Vietnam War and served as a hospital corpsman. Elton worked as an accountant for Southern Pacific Railroad in San Francisco.
After he took up his first job, his father wrote to him.
Dear Son,
Since you are approaching a rather important cross-road in your life, I hope you are looking both ways with your eyes WIDE-OPEN. What I really mean is ARE YOU THINKING LOGICALLY or ARE YOU THINKING EMOTIONALLY? Do you know the difference? Things get mixed up and each can easily be mistaken for the other. There is one sure thing-You cannot keep running away from that which is unpleasant.
As someone said, we are each three persons; we are what we think we are, we are what other people think we are and we are who we really are. The most difficult thing in self-analysis is to combine the first with the last. For one’s self respect the middle one is not important. There is just one thing-You cannot keep running away from yourself. You have to earn self respect in order to live with yourself.
How does one earn self-respect?
Perhaps through accomplishment. Finish each job with the knowledge that you did it with the best of your ability. A job sloppily done is not accomplishment, it is just a postponement until someone else can do it right.
Perhaps through sacrifice for others. You can do little things for others or give them little remembrances. Others are usually grateful but was the gesture a true sacrifice? Or was it really a little boost for the ego of the person who we think we are?
Perhaps by thinking of others. Everyone has troubles. It’s not at all hard to find others with greater problems than ours. Self pity can build giant mountains and the sad thing about it is that they really are mountains unless we gain the stature to look over those tiny ant hills.
Perhaps by being realistic. Is one coming across bridges before there are bridges to cross? Is some job a CAN’T just because of an imaginable brick wall around it?
Perhaps through trial and error. It is not possible for some of us to learn from the experiences of others. When one does something for which one is not satisfied, then what one did was wrong, and a resolve should be made not to do it again.
These are things that each must find for himself. To a large extent, we are masters of our own destiny. But beyond a single doubt, there is an intelligence that guides all of our destinies. Tribulations confront all of us and courage to meet them is not just given us. Courage must be developed. Fear is nothing to be ashamed of, but the lack of a will to overcome it, is.
Son, would you like to know how I see you? I see good things of which I am very proud. And I see things which worry and depress me.
I see indulgence in personal comfort and luxury beyond the necessity. I see a flair for the good things in life which perhaps have not been fully earned. I see a great self pity and a tendency toward hypochondria. I see both a mental and physical laziness. The little things that indicate what I see are : the easy chair, the pillows, the blanket. T.V. late at night and a long morning sleep in. Beds not neatly made, a jumble of things that have no definite place. I see holes in the soles of my only two pairs of shoes and I see my son’s electric shoe polisher. I see your mother washing dishes, washing clothes, enumerable things and I see my son watching T.V. or getting ready to go out. I see lawns that could have been mowed. I remember the silent rebellion of homework. But these are little things.
I also see courtesy, a special politeness for older people, I see thoughtfulness for others. I see an aversion to unkind words or deeds. I see a great compassion for the hurt or unfortunate ones. I see a courage that could be developed and I see a determination that could be nurtured. Perhaps with some envy, I see a boy that girls look at more than once. I see a boy of whom his parents are proud and also a little worried.
Thirty four years ago there was a boy, very sick at heart for two long dreadful years. And that boy got a letter from his Dad, a short letter written with pencil. The letter is still alive but the father has passed on.
You have a job that I would hate to tackle but I believe your mother could. If you do get transferred to another job in the Navy, do your best and let the chips fall where they may. Some things have to be. Be strong and of good courage. Fear not nor be dismayed even though you may walk in the valley of the shadow of death. Fear no evil. God is with you.
Dad.