I wrote reply to the comment and tried to publish several times but it was not published. On January 10, 2005, I had severe pain in the leg due to herniated disc and I was on the bed till few days back. Now I have noticed that my reply was published but jumbled up. Being so late, I thought of making it a post.
It is true that some parents do not care for or bring up their children well or they some how (unfortunately) have some type of greed hidden in them which may attract disrespect. Love for children or for parents has to be without conditions. If that is for money or personal elevation then it is not for children and vice versa. True that character / behaviour of parent moulds behaviour of their children. A few examples are:
(1) A father, who smokes, his advice to children “not to smoke” will fall flat on the ground
(2) Some body knocks at the door. Father asks his little kid to tell the person outside that father is not at home. That will leave a scar on the conscience of innocent kid which may drag him / her to a false world
(3) If parents keep quarreling in front of their children, it will have an adverse effect on character of their children
Further, love has to be predictable from practical life not only words. If children only telephone or send cards to their parents on Fathers / Mothers Days and practically do not care, that becomes Hypocrisy. And converse is also true.
Taking the religious view, children should look after their parents in the old age in any case. In Islam, it is binding on children to look after their parents and, of course, there is a binding on parents to bring up their children well, but condition of serving parents is not tied to these bindings.
I wrote “why is this behaviour very common in those communities who are considered highly educated / developed ?”
Anonymous commenter is right to sat that “considered” is a golden word here. And that hypocrites are not developed and educated as per the Book (Qur’aan).
That is why I said ‘considered’. However, if you want to see university degrees, some of them are highly qualified from foreign universities. The anonymous commenter has very rightly said:
(a) Right can be done in response to Wrong.(b) Right can be done in response to Right.
(c) Wrong can be done in response to Wrong.(d) Wrong can be done in response to Right.A high-class person will always do (a & b) above. Now, this is magnified if this was towards one’s parents. Obviously, this person goes to heaven. For the person who does (c), he is ignorant and low-class. As for the main question of this post, which I understood to be related to (d), I think the person who does it WANTS to go to hell. That is my only explanation.And that “lastly, I think this question cannot be answered completely without a frame of reference. For me, what defines right and wrong above has to come from an absolute and fair frame of reference. To me, this is, undoubtedly, Islam.”