Character ! ! !

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk.
Design your character like the sky where everyone desires to reach.

12 habits that can cause unhappiness, but can be avoided.

1. Chronic Complaining
Happy and successful people do not complain much. On the other side, it seems that chronic complainers always have something negative to say… even when those around them are happy! The bottom line: we all have different circumstances that we are given in this lifetime, but in the end these circumstances are ours – fair or unfair, wanted or unwanted. Instead, seek solutions to problems instead of complaining, which leads to nowhere.
2. Being critical – of self and others
How we talk to ourselves shapes our self-image, for better or worse. Self-worth is an essential component to our happiness, and feeling good about ourselves is a right that we all have. Realize when mistakes are made, accept them, and move on…don’t engage in negative self-talk. Further, respect the inherent differences of others and recognize their right to live happily and without undue criticism.
3. Living beyond means
We live in a materialistic society, one where we are constantly bombarded with advertisements for the latest car, gadget, or credit card; all promising an easier, more fulfilling existence. Don’t believe it for a second. While purchasing a new product may provide a needed emotional boost, it doesn’t last. Ever heard the term “buyer’s remorse”? It exists for a reason. Instead, seek out something to do that doesn’t involve whipping out a piece of plastic – exercise, reading, sightseeing, etc. – anything brings satisfaction without the debt.
4. Negative addictions
Most things are good in moderation – food, a drink or two, entertainment… it’s when these things take center stage in our lives that it becomes a problem. Unfortunately, many good people have met their end through addictive habits, especially through dependence on alcohol and drugs. A great preventative measure and remedy to these addictions? Finding and living our passions to the greatest extent possible (see #8).
5. Regretting the past
Regret is not only useless, it can be extremely harmful. Research continues to show that repetitive, negative thoughts about decisions made in the past in often a precursor to chronic stress and depression. According to Psychology Today, there are four ways to cope with regret: (1) learn from mistakes but don’t dwell, (2) if nothing can be changed about the situation to let it go, (3) make sure too much blame is not being undertaken, and(4) reframing the situation more positively.
6. Worrying about the future
We only have so much say in what our future holds. This is not meant to disempower (quite the opposite); rather it is stating simple truth. What we can do is live in the present while fully exercising our God-given abilities and talents, enabling and empowering us to live a happier existence. There’s that phrase again: living in the present. Face difficulties as they arise and let them go. Enjoy the beautiful things in life and experience them fully…be present.
7. Being driven by fear
Yes, fear can be an enabler to unhappiness. To fully understand this, we have to again go back to being present. Quite simply, we can’t allow fear of the unknown (and/or the unavoidable) to cripple our quality of life. Fear is a negative thought process that is often on auto pilot. Remember: we are not our negative thoughts. We are not fear, worry, anxiety, or any other negative thought process.
8. Delaying goals and dreams
It’s relatively easy and effortless to get caught up in the routine of life: working, eating, sleeping, maybe even a day or two of doing something fun or relaxing. But here’s the thing: by not directing our talents and passions toward a positive and tangible goal, we potentially discard something great before its realization. The hardest part of living out our goals and dreams is taking the first step. After building a game plan taking that first step, only then can we see the possibilities.
9. Gossiping
Nothing exudes unhappiness and insecurity more than negative small talk about someone else. After all, why would a happy, confident person engage in something that is of no benefit? They wouldn’t. Gossip is something to be left to the kids at recess, not to adults attempting to make their lives (and others!) better.
10. Holding grudges
Similar to other negative emotions, animosity is a needless weight on our backs. We are all witness to the negative behaviors of other people and can become (sometimes justifiably) angered as a result. But remember: this isn’t about their ignorant behavior; it’s about your happiness. Either forgive, forget, or ignore… and move on with your life.
11. Eating poorly
Ingesting nutritionally-bankrupt food is all about immediate gratification. It’s certainly not about feeling good long-term, as eating poorly can result in bad health, weight gain, depression, lack of energy and decreased productivity; while having a well-balanced diet results in an entirely opposite effect – more energy, a healthy weight, mental alertness, and increased productivity. Eat right, look great, and feel great.
12. Expanding our problems
When we experience unhappiness and discontent, our first reaction is almost entirely emotional. In other words, we blow things completely out of proportion. After all, we still have that darned “lizard brain” (amygdala) – the epicenter of negative emotions. Instead, just take a step back, look at the problem objectively (with minimal emotion), and focus on a solution!

Breathe

There are moments in your life
where you feel like giving up
and you can’t take it any more.
It is O K. Breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale

The Words English Owes to Indo-Pakistan

“Hobson-Jobson” is the dictionary’s short and mysterious title.
The subtitle reveals more: “A glossary of colloquial Anglo-Indian words and phrases, and of kindred terms etymological, historical, geographical and discursive. By Colonel Henry Yule and AC Burnell.”
But even the word “discursive” doesn’t quite prepare the reader for what is to come.
“It’s a madly unruly and idiosyncratic work,” says poet Daljit Nagra.

50 words from Indo Pakistan
A – atoll, avatar
B – bandana, bangle, bazaar, Blighty, bungalow
C – cashmere, catamaran, char, cheroot, cheetah, chintz, chit, choky, chutney, cot, cummerbund, curry
D – dinghy, doolally, dungarees
G – guru, gymkhana
H – hullabaloo
J – jodhpur, jungle, juggernaut, jute
K – khaki, kedgeree
L – loot
N – nirvana
P – pariah, pashmina, polo, pukka, pundit, purdah, pyjamas
S – sari, shampoo, shawl, swastika
T – teak, thug, toddy, typhoon
V – veranda
Y – yoga
Sources: Hobson-Jobson, Oxford English Dictionary

“Not so much an orderly dictionary as a passionate memoir of colonial India. Rather like an eccentric Englishman in glossary form.”

Take the entry for the Indian word dam. The dictionary defines it as: “Originally an actual copper coin. Damri is a common enough expression for the infinitesimal in coin, and one has often heard a Briton in India say: ‘No, I won’t give a dumri!’ with but a vague notion what a damri meant.”

That is the etymology of dam. But Yule and Brunell have more to say.
“And this leads to the suggestion that a like expression, often heard from coarse talkers in England as well as in India, originated in the latter country, and that whatever profanity there may be in the animus, there is none in the etymology, when such an one blurts out ‘I don’t care a dam!’ in other words, ‘I don’t care a brass farthing!'”

There is a huge delight in language that’s evident throughout the dictionary, says Dr Kate Teltscher, reader in English Literature at Roe Hampton University, who is preparing the new Oxford World Classics edition.
“It’s a hugely ambitious attempt to trace linguistic influence… it’s all about the distance that words travel,” she says. “It’s also about looking at words in their context, and seeing how they describe a lost way of life.”

When the book was published, it was already a source of nostalgia for the passing of the East India Company era as India came under British rule.

Hobson-Jobson-isms
Kedgeree: A dish of seasoned rice. Hobson-Jobson defines it as “a mess of rice, cooked with butter and dal and flavoured with a little spice and shred onion.”
Shampoo: To “knead and press the muscles with the view of relieving fatigue”.
Pyjamas: A “pair of loose drawers or trousers, tied round the waist”.
Gymkhana: “It is applied to a place of public resort at a station, where the needful facilities for athletics and games of sorts are provided.”
Veranda: “An open pillared gallery round a house.”

“There was a market for it in India, amongst the British serving in India. One review recommended it as an ideal ‘after-dinner reading in camp’,” says Teltscher.

“It does include a lot of administrative terms – things that the British needed to know. But it was also clearly meant for diversion and entertainment, both for the British serving in India and the British when they had returned home.”
Anglo-Indian food features prominently. For example, it defines kedgeree (or kitchery) thus:
“A mess of rice, cooked with butter and dal and flavoured with a little spice, shred onion, and the like. It’s a common dish all over India, and often served at Anglo-Indian breakfast tables. In England we find the word is often applied to a mess of re-cooked fish, served for breakfast, but this is inaccurate. Fish is frequently eaten with kedgeree, but is no part of it.”

Chilly, we learn, is “the popular Anglo-Indian name of the pod of red pepper”.
“There is little doubt that the name was taken from Chile in South America,” the compilers Yule and Burnell say, “whence the plant was carried to the Indian archipelago and thence to India.”
“Who doesn’t know what chilli means now?” asks Daljit Nagra.
“But here it’s been recorded probably for first time in a Western dictionary and I love the idea of witnessing the birth of that word.”

For writers such as Nagra, Hobson-Jobson has often been a source of inspiration.

Here is how Hobson-Jobson defines naukar-chaukar. It means “the servants” but the authors continue:
“One of those jingling double-barrelled phrases in which Orientals delight even more than Englishmen… As regards Englishmen, compare hugger-mugger, hurdy-gurdy, tip-top, higgledy-piggledy, hocus-pocus, tit-for-tat, topsy-turvy… harum-scarum, roly-poly, rump and stump, slip-slop…”
“I love these rhyming words in Hobson-Jobson,” says Nagra.

Another author who has drawn inspiration from the dictionary is Tom Stoppard. In his play Indian Ink, two characters compete to use as many Hobson-Jobson words as possible:
Flora: “While having tiffin on the veranda of my bungalow I spilled kedgeree on my dungarees and had to go to the gymkhana in my pyjamas looking like a coolie.”

Nirad: “I was buying chutney in the bazaar when a thug who had escaped from the chokey ran amok and killed a box-wallah for his loot, creating a hullabaloo and landing himself in the mulligatawny.”
Stoppard says he deliberately chose words that the English-speaking audience would be familiar with. One of the surprises is that there are so many of these.

“By exploring the words that are in Hobson-Jobson we start to realise how many words that we use every day, we don’t even think of as particularly being of Indian origin actually are,” says Teltscher.

“So words like shampoo, words like pyjamas, words like bangle. We tend to think of Empire in terms of domination and control, in terms of the way power was used and abused. But we can also think of it in more intimate ways and I think Hobson-Jobson allows us to do that.”
Nagra says this is exactly what he loves about Hobson-Jobson.
“That it now feels like a benign project of Victorian multiculturalism, where words from Hindi, Malay, Arabic and even Chinese can cohabit and intermingle with English words – words that have themselves been remade by rubbing alongside their new neighbours.”

In his introduction to the book, Yule writes that words of Indian origin have been “insinuating themselves into English ever since the end of the reign of Elizabeth and the beginning of that of King James”.
Terms such as calico, chintz and gingham had already by then “effected a lodgement in English warehouses and shops, and were lying in wait for entrance into English literature”.

What is Audit?

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.
Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd,
“If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”
The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, “Okay.”
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables.
He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says,
“You have exactly 1,586 sheep.”
The shepherd cheers,
“That’s correct, you can have your choicest sheep from the herd”.
The young man takes one of the animals which he likes most and cute from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”
The young man laughed and answers, “Yes, why not?”
The shepherd says, “You are an auditor.”
“How did you know?” asks the young man.
“Very simple,” answers the shepherd.
“First, you came here without being wanted.
Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.
Thirdly, you don’t understand anything about my business…..
Now can I have my DOG back?”