Paraprosdokian.

Paraprosdokian is figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it is still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we would both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
10. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
11. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
12. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
13. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
14. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
15. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
16. Forgive your enemy, but remember his name.

An Engineer’s Revenge

An engineer was removing the engine parts from a car when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop.
Engineer went to the heart surgeon and said, “Look at this engine, I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back”.
So why do I get such a small salary and you get huge sums ?”
The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to engineer’s ear and said, “Try the same when the engine is running.”

The engineer smiled back, came close to doctors ear and said, “I can pick any dead engine and make it alive, can you ??? And Doctor do not forget that all your instruments and machines have been designed and got manufactured by enginers.”