2c.Family and Life Abroad

My Marriage 

I was engaged to daughter of my maternal aunt on August 14, 1965 who was born at Cairo Egypt. She along with her parents and siblings came over to Pakistan in November, 1953. Doctors (medical) were against my marriage with daughter of my maternal aunt because of some scientific finding. And in our case, mother of my fiancée, apart from being sister of my mother was first cousin of my father and, also, my fiancée’s father was first cousin of my mother. So, the doctors considered it to be a very acute case which could create problems to the mother at the time of giving birth to a child and/or result in birth of deformed children. I could not be convinced and my marriage took place on November 10, 1967. I shifted to Wah (my work-place) with my wife in January, 1968. Allah has been very kind and blessed me with three, masha Allah, well formed, cute and intelligent children who also made mark in their education.      

3rd Case of Hypocrisy  

During my service, I witnessed so many cases of hypocrisy, cheating, deceit and falsehood that it will be a laborious reading and that to no avail. However, I would like to narrate one more incident by which I felt hurt. An engineer Mr “B” who joined the organization in 1964 was to be appointed Assistant Manager after 2 years training, but was not appointed even after 3 years. On his request, I lobbied for him and he was given the due appointment. Later, we became friends. In 1973, a theft took place in our factory. Mr “B”, was arrested though without proof. In an effort to get him released I put not only my future but also my life at stake and was able to secure his release. After release Mr “B” said to me, “What you have done for me, perhaps, I would have not been able to do for you under such circumstances. I shall remain grateful to you all my life.” Only two years later that very Mr “B”, for his personal benefits, gave self-manufactured stories against me to the management of our organization.                

My First Son 

On the evening of December, 1970, I admitted my wife in Hospital. I stayed at hospital lobby so that if need be I will be available. I passed the whole night sitting on a wooden bench. At about noon next day (Monday, December 07, 1970), I was informed that, by the grace of Allah, I had become father of a cute son at 11 am. That day, elections to the National Assembly of Pakistan were to be held after 12 years of military dictatorship.  

I Kissed My Mother’s Feet 

During summer of 1971, one day when I returned home from my office, I found the house locked. My servant told me that my sister had come and taken my wife and son with her to Rawalpindi. On my insistence, he told me that my mother was not well. Without taking lunch, I went straight to the bus stop and boarded the bus to Rawalpindi. On reaching Satellite Town, Rawalpindi, I found my mother suffering from Sciatica pain. I started massaging lower part of her legs. While massaging, I prayed for early recovery of my mother, and kept on shedding tears and kissing my mother’s soles (the underside of feet) till my mother felt some relief. I have always felt proud that I kissed soles of my mother. 

Boss attitude 

I was promoted as Works Manager on July 01, 1969. In May, 1972, my wife was in 8th month of pregnancy when she suffered bleeding. It was dangerous for the child yet to be born and also risked the life of my wife. I was at my work place. My wife informed me about it on telephone. I went to my boss (G), told him about my wife’s illness and that I had an 18 months old son for whom I had to bring my mother from Rawalpindi after admitting my wife in hospital, and requested for grant of leave for only that day. My boss said, “I can not let you go because work is important for me.” I wrote an application for 3 days leave and, also, resignation from service and placed both on office table of my boss with a note “Please accept one of the two applications.” On that he reported my misbehaviour to the technical chief who asked me to explain. After my explaination, my leave for 3 days was sanctioned.  

My second child

A Daughter  In the afternoon of June 07, 1972, I admitted my wife in Hospital. Next morning at 7:15 am, Allah blessed me with a cute daughter. Like her brother, she has been a good child except for the problem that she wouldn’t eat and remained anemic. Brother and sister had been very friendly each other. They never quarreled.  

Birth of My Second Son & Panic Created by Doctors           

On February 23, 1975, I admitted my wife in hospital. Delivery was expected any time during next 48 hours. Doctors were of the opinion that, results of blood test, indicated that emergency could arise after the birth necessitating change of blood of the new born. However, Allah was very kind to me and eased my strain by blessing me with my second son at 8:15 am on June 24, 1975 and no complication took place. That proved that it is not science but Allah Who controls.  

Visit of United Arab Emirates  

In 1975, a high level team was to visit UAE for demonstration purposes. The ministry nominated me to head the technical team. Deputation to Libya I was placed on deputation as Advisor to Libyan Government on establishment of precision parts industry. I left for Tripoli, Libya on May 18, 1976 (evening) and changing flights at Karachi and Athens, reached Tripoli at about noon of May 19. On reaching Tripoli, Libya, I was lodged in Beach Luxury Hotel. Two months later, I was shifted to Hotel Libya Palace in the city because Beach Luxury Hotel was outside the town. When a residential building was hired, I called my family who reached Libya on November 25, 1976. That house was situated in Ghotsha’al, a new inhabitance at the western out skirts of Tripoli, and between two highways.

To Europe on Holiday 

In 1978, to make good use of holidays, we planned a visit to Europe. I with wife and  children, visited England, Düsseldorf, Köln, Dortmund, Nürnberg in Germany, Holland and Belgium. Then we went to Saudi Arabia where we performed Umrah and retuned to Tripoli Libya.   

Death of My Dear Mother  

On afternoon of Wednesday, June 25, 1980, my younger son sat on carpet in a corner of the lounge in our house and started crying without any reason. When I asked him the reason for his weeping, he said that he wanted to go to Pakistan. I tried to console him and even offered lot of milk chocolate that used to attract him most. But he said, “I do not want chocolate. I want  to go to Pakistan.” He kept on weeping bitterly and stopped only after he was tired. That was astonishing because, firstly, he never before desired to go to Pakistan and secondly, generally, he did not weep. On Sunday, June 29, he repeated the same. After few days we received telegram and telexes delivery of which had been delayed that my mother had fallen seriously ill in the afternoon of June 25 and she died on June 29, 1980.  

My wife was in hospital for a major surgery which was scheduled for that morning and children were at my younger sister’s house living in Tripoli. On reaching hospital, we learnt that the surgeon gynecologist, remained busy in an accidental emergency case surgery the whole forenoon and then examined my wife and said, “The critical moment has passed and there is no emergency for surgery now. If she improves further, surgery will not be necessary.” Allah had saved my wife and also solved my problem. I took my wife home.  

I left for Pakistan on the next available flight for 2 weeks. I wrote two poems to remember my very dear mother though many would not be enough to describe her simplicity, politeness, patience, truthfulness, sobriety, good manners, affection, respect to others and submission to Allah. Very few persons have all these qualities. 

A Year of Sorrows           

After my beloved mother, younger maternal uncle died suddenly on August 6, 1980. There after elder sister of my wife died suddenly on November 15, 1980. After the death of my mother, my wife started suddenly falling unconscious but after the death of her sister, she started having frequent fits. Doctor (psychiatrist cum psychologist) advised that she should be immediately sent to be among near blood relations to relieve her strain otherwise fits are liable to become regular feature and that would be dangerous. So I sent her to Pakistan on December 1, 1980 and children remained with me. She returned after 2 weeks and alhamdu-lillah, she recovered.  

Father’s Illness        

We used to send and receive letters through diplomatic bag. On after-noon of April 14, 1981, I received a letter from my eldest sister stating that father remembers me. I took it that father was not feeling well. My leave was not due but I talked to the Libyan chief and he, realizing the situation, recommended two weeks leave off the record and helped me to board the next flight which was on April 17. Thus, I, with my wife and children, reached Rawalpindi on April 18 and went straight to Wah because father was with my eldest sister there. Father was being given blood transfusion. After my arrival, father started recovering. We went back to Libya on April 20, 1981. I wanted to take my father to Libya with me but he didn’t agree. Later, my younger brother took him to Saudi Arabia. 

Shifting Family to Pakistan  

In 1982, father directed me to come back to Pakistan and run the house because that was my duty being the eldest son. I could not leave my job in Libya on my own as it was an agreement between two governments. I took days leave and came to Pakistan on September 21, 1982 with wife and children. Father had arrived from Saudi Arabia a few days earlier. I returned to Libya alone on November 5, 1982 leaving my wife and children in Rawalpindi. 

In the end November, 1982, on pursuance of government of Pakistan, Libyan government agreed to repatriate Pakistani team. We were given a briefing on repatriation rules of Libya which revealed that persons going back with their families could take with them all their baggage but a person, not accompanied by his family at the time of departure, could take only 2 suit cases with him. Consequently, I called my wife and children back to Libya. They left Islamabad on December 8, 1982 and arrived Tripoli (Libya) on the next day.  

A Lucrative Offer 

In December, 1982, a delegation from M/s Fabrique Nationale, Belgium visited Tripoli, Libya and offered me a post of Project Director in Middle East. They were ready to pay me US $ 6,000 per month plus furnished accommodation and one month holiday with return air ticket for me and family once a year. I declined the offer saying that I wanted to go back to my country and serve my father who was old and alone. Then, they approached my senior Pakistani colleague and Libyan Chief of the office. Both of them advised me to accept their offer and request my father to stay with me in the Middle East. But I knew father would not agree and came back to Pakistan. 

Final Return to Pakistan  

Finally, we left Libya on January 24, 1983 and reached Islamabad on February 1, 1983 after performing Umrah. In Libya, we had visited all the worth-visiting places including remains of ancient Roman Empire plus some desert areas for as a new experience. We used to go for picnic at sea-side, near spring waters and in the forest. Visit to some clean and nice beaches is worth mentioning.                                    

Continued on page 7d

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