My BODY is MY Own Business

I OFTEN wonder whether people see me as a radical, fundamentalist Muslim terrorist packing an AK-47 assault rifle inside my jean jacket. Or may be they see me as the poster girl for oppressed womanhood everywhere. I'm not sure which it is.

I get the whole gamut of strange looks, stares, and covert glances. You see, I wear the hijab,
a scarf that covers my head, neck, and throat. I do this because I am a Muslim woman who believes her body is her own private concern.

Young Muslim women are reclaiming the hijab, reinterpreting it in light of its original purpose
to give back to women ultimate control of their own bodies.

The Qur'aan teaches us that men and women are equal, that individuals should not be judged according to gender, beauty, wealth, or privilege. The only thing that makes one person better than another is her or his character.

Nonetheless, people have a difficult time relating to me. After all, I'm young, Canadian born and raised, university educated why would I do this to myself, they ask.

Strangers speak to me in loud, slow English and often appear to be playing charades. They politely inquire how I like living in Canada and whether or not the cold bothers me. If I'm in
the right mood, it can be very amusing.

But, why would I, a woman with all the advantages of a North American upbringing, suddenly, at 21, want to cover myself so that with the hijab and the other clothes I choose to wear, only my face and hands show?

WOMEN are taught from early childhood that their worth is proportional to their attractiveness. We feel compelled to pursue abstract notions of beauty, half realizing that such a pursuit is futile.

When women reject this form of oppression, they face ridicule and contempt. Whether it's women who refuse to wear makeup or to shave their legs, or to expose their bodies, society, both men and women, have trouble dealing with them.

In the Western world, the hijab has come to symbolize either forced silence or radical, unconscionable militancy. Actually, it's neither. It is simply a woman's assertion that judgment of her physical person is to play no role whatsoever in social interaction.

Wearing the hijab has given me freedom from constant attention to my physical self. Because my appearance is not subjected to public scrutiny, my beauty, or perhaps lack of it, has been removed from the realm of what can legitimately be discussed.

No one knows whether my hair looks as if I just stepped out of a salon, whether or not I can pinch an inch, or even if I have unsightly stretch marks. And because no one knows, no one cares.

Feeling that one has to meet the impossible male standards of beauty is tiring and often humiliating. I should know, I spent my entire teenage years trying to do it. It was a borderline bulimic and spent a lot of money I didn't have on potions and lotions in hopes of becoming the next Cindy Crawford.

The definition of beauty is ever-changing; waifish is good, waifish is bad, athletic is good — sorry, athletic is bad. Narrow hips? Great. Narrow hips? Too bad.

Women are not going to achieve equality with the right to bear their breasts in public, as
some people would like to have you believe. That would only make us party to our own objectification. True equality will be had only when women don't need to display themselves
to get attention and won't need to defend their decision to keep their bodies to themselves.

(Naheed Mustafa’s article was published in “The Globe and Mail” on June 29, 1993 under “Facts and Arguments” Page A26. She had graduated from the University of Toronto in 1992 with an honours degree in political and history and then she was studying journalism at Ryerson Polytechnic University)

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Want to be Happier ?

To become happier, we either need to:

(a) Change the world,
or (b) Change our thinking.

It is easier to change our Thinking!

IN A NUTSHELL

It is not the problem that is the issue,
but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem.
It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness.
It's how you think about what happens to you!

Strategy ? ? ?

Better strategy is:

Demand less, and instead, have preferences!

For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:
"I would prefer this, but if that happens, it’s OK too!"

This is really a change in mindset.
It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind.

You prefer that people are polite …
but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day.
You prefer sunshine …
but if it rains, it is ok too!

Should ? ? ?

Let's say you expect that:

* Friends SHOULD return favours.
* People SHOULD appreciate you.
* Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
* Everyone SHOULD be honest.
* Your spouse or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable.
But often, these things won't happen!

So you end up frustrated and disappointed.